The aesthetics of the fight have been the subject of left-wing ire, with the loudest objections coming from people like Hillary Clinton, who knows a thing or two about improprieties on White House grounds. But nothing offended leftists more than the outfits UFC revealed for the “ring girls,” the women who walk around the octagon with signs announcing each successive match. Because U.S. flag code prohibits wearing an actual American flag like a beach towel, media concluded, the star-spangled getups must be against the law.

Created by costume designer Marina Toybina, the outfits feature everything from typical cheerleader hot pants to dramatic trains. The best ones are reminiscent of the classic American tradition of high school drill teams, which is to say, they’re fabulous.

In a feat of journalism so bold Scott Pelley might confuse it with combat, I’ve rated all 10 styles, from worst to Sexy Martha Washington to best.

2/10

These are the least interesting of the set. What’s going on with the neckline of the one on the right, and why aren’t they the same? The bustier cut is very juniors’ department, and the velvet is an odd choice for a 90-degree June day.

Marie Antoinette/10

There’s a lot going on here. The embroidery, train, and corset feel like a Sexy Martha Washington Halloween costume, but maybe that’s what they were going for?

5/10 and Rodeo Queen/10

The costume on the left looks like a 1950s cigarette girl, which could have worked really, really well. The silhouette is great, but the white contrast trim makes the costume look cheap. This also would have been a good opportunity to depart from the repetitive corset-style bodices.

The girl on the right looks great, if slightly like she needs a cowboy hat to complete her ensemble. The blending of patterns and textures is exactly right, as is the draped sash. But it looks like she got her earrings from Claire’s, and she’s going to spend her whole night tugging down her hemline. Some tall white boots would have helped balance out the proportions.

Lynda Carter/10

These feel very retro and Wonder Woman-inspired, down to the silver cuff bracelets. Skimpy, but more sorority girl than statutory indecent exposure, which is more than can be said for the trans twerker Biden welcomed on the South Lawn.

The bright red satin is more appropriate for early summer than the dark velvet version a few entries above, and the belts are a natural nod to the occasion. Not sure why the silver trim on the blue corset top doesn’t match the red one, but I wish it did.

7.2/10

Similar to the other long-skirted one but more “Columbia Pictures” than colonial hottie. The gold embroidery on the blue is gorgeous, and something about it reminds me of those World War I posters where a woman representing “Victory” is decked out in stars and stripes. It’s over the top, but in the right way. But the red and white stripes visually overpower the rest of the outfit a bit — replacing the stripes with a solid red underskirt would have softened it. Extra 0.2 points for the shoulder sash.

9.9/10

This looks comfortable, fun, and flattering. Definitely giving off “cheerleader,” which is appropriate for an iconic American sporting event. If the New England Patriots decided to adopt something like this for their cheer team, I wouldn’t blame them.

The sparkly boots are an upgrade from the velvet ones, but this outfit loses 0.1 point because, again, white boots would have looked better!

Miss America/10

She’s beauty, she’s grace. There’s not too much going on here, and the proportions are flattering. The shoulder sash is fun and coordinates with the skirt without distracting from it. It’s somewhere between “U.S. Olympic figure skating costume” and “Andrews Sisters tribute show,” which is basically a perfect place for a Flag Day UFC ring girl costume to end up.

A missed opportunity with all of these costumes, though, is headwear. Even if they didn’t want to go full Becky Ann Leeman in Drop Dead Gorgeous, a tiara headband like this would have completed the look nicely.